on emotions and self-worth

it’s been a hectic week here.

appraisal week always is, where i have to have one-on-ones with each member of my team. some of them are great. some of them are not so good. but they are great for getting and giving feedback. good and bad.

am i the only who has been suffering with hayfever so badly this year? i sneezed non-stop for 6 hours this morning, despite taking an anti0-histamine this morning… madness.

i’ve been feeling a little down this week – almost like a roller coaster. i realise i feel that way when i don’t see my friends so much, which hasn’t happened. partially because i have not been (able to) spend money. and partly because when i try to organise something, people can’t or won’t. and some peopoe just don’t organise things.

that’s part of the problem with being an organiser. that when you are in the zone where you just wnat someone else to arrange for something, and it doesn’t happen, it leaves you feeling insecure. and unloved.

and it’s probably stupid, but it’s a reality. we all need validation and to feel loved. sometimes i get told that’s rubbish, that it should come from you. but i don’t buy that.

anyway – today my main agent in europe was told about my promotion. so i got an e-mail and a phone call to wish me well, and congratulate me. and to tell me how they’re going to miss me, and that they know no-one will be able to give us much to this position as i have.

makes me feel good! and sad. at least a little, at leaving behind people i have enjoyed working with.

anyway. that is the state of my head. it confuses even me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s