ego on the side

in about 6 hours i get the keys to the theatre, and the play becomes my responsibility. it will always be the director’s “baby”, but as the stage manager i am responsible.

 

shooo…. (breathe in… breathe out…) … it’s quite something….

 

but i was thinking about it last night or this morning, and realized that we have rehearsed it all, and everyone has their place. most know it as well. and i suppose in general, i need to make sure it all fits together and everything happens when it does.

 

it’s not like i am alone – i have a great and very experienced team beside me – and for that i am grateful.

 

when the director first asked me to be production secretary and stage manager, my nose was a little out of joint – i want to be on stage. in the limelight. face the applause. bring the lines to life. love me. that type of thing.

 

now, i am so so happy to have done this instead. i have learnt so much (and it didn’t have to be lines!) and i am enjoying it. so thank you ms director.

 

last night’s show was fun – it always is the first time we have an audience. the cast feed off that laughter and reaction, and it was beautiful to see. each one of us on and off stage had a mess-up-moment, but we have all learnt from it. i, for example, didn’t make it snow. i made it avalanche. tonight i shall be more subtle.

 

we have the old age home in tonight – i always love that night. the gang that comes really appreciates the outing. and as long as we give them a good show, they will spread the good word.

 

let’s all break a leg!

 

oh, and happy birthday mutti… you would have been 87 today

 

what bugged me today: feeling tired

 

what i learnt today: that coca cola has a new sugar free drink called coke zero. in black packaging.

 

what i am grateful for: good weather forecast for the weekend (so i can be outdoors for part of it!)

so that’s what a good day feels like!

on reflection, i actually had a good day today. if it sounds like i am surprised, i am. the week had all the indications that it was going to be a shocker, and in many ways it was.

today was not though.

why?

maybe it was because i realised when a relatively good bad was about to become bad. i was totally conscious of the moment, and can still feel it if i think about it. let me describe the moment for you.

i had one of my star employees have her last day with us today – lots of last minute things for her to do and hand over.

my new 2 newest employees are both off sick at the moment.

all of this leaves me with quite a lot to do – my work, their work, and a couple of other people’s work – mainly because i still can’t say no sometimes.

so when i received 3 e-mails at the same time, all with a bright red ! in front of them, from the same person with “help help help” in the subject line, i began to feel it.

when the realisation that the plan i had for the day to get through all my stuff had just gone out the window, that’s when it happened.

my body temperature instantly rose what felt like 5 degrees centigrade. i needed to remove my jersey jut to be able to think clearly.

then i took a breath. walked to the kitchen and made a cup of coffee. came back and re-prioritised.

now, this may sound like an overreaction to a mere 3 e-mails, but of course it is only a snapshot of what was on my desk at the time. an aside to all the questions being asked of me by co-workers. all the solutions being required of me by my team.

but i am proud of how i handled it. that i didn’t flip out or lose control of my day. it helped that at about that time i realised it was thursday today and not only tuesday.

i got most things done, and will deal with the rest (and some surprised, no doubt) tomorrow.

but i was aware, and that’s important.

as for the rehearsal we had tonight – i see that we have a show in the making!

some of you may know that i’ve been on stage a few times, so when  i was asked if i could be production secretary and stage manager for this show, my initial reaction was that i actually wanted to be on stage – none of this backstage business.

but then i thought about it and accepted that yes this is a good idea if i might want to direct one day. 2 friend this year have now planted the “direct something someday” seed. it’s not a seed that’s had any water or fertilizer in the past.

and i am really enjoying it! it’s hard work, takes up a lot of time, and is certainly more enjoyable after a good day than after a rotten day. and tonight i remembered to step back mentally and see us all working towards making barefoot in the park a reality

what bugged me today: my boss’s reaction to my employee’s decision to leave. but that’s his choice, and he must live with it.

what i learnt today: that while in most fizzy drinks like coke and fanta the gaseous bubbles are white or clear, in the  bright orange, sugar-infested “pine whizz” pineapple flavoured liquid we drank today, the bubbles are the same bright orange as the drink. i’ve never seen that before an it’s freaky man!

what i am grateful for: seeing the benefits in myself of having invested in visiting a therapist the last few months – boy has it made a difference!

day of rest?

thanks to the internet, i didn’t get to bed until after 2, ignoring the fact that leo was coming for breakfast at 8… so i didn’t get much sleep, never my best. and to make the morning even more interesting - remember  i was house sitting for 1 night - one of the dogs left me a regurgitated present on the wooden floor near the front door… charming…

anyway, a super breakfast with a great friend was followed by a ride to lion’s head on my motorcycle i’m so enjoying this on sunny days! for a walk up with rahima. for a long long time walks up lion’s head have been a form of therapy for some of my friends and I. sadly 2 of my regular walkers have moved to vienna, after more than 5 years of chatting, listening, helping, being there – on foot – on the lion. not easy to replace. but this is the 2nd sunday in  row that rahima and i have done the stroll. it’s very busy – but oh so beautiful… how long we are to live in this city

the work’s emergency phone would choose to ring while we were up there… timing is crap, but what can one do, it is par for the course.

after that i rushed to rehearsals, which consisted largely of a photo shoot - pics for the press and mugshots for the programme – which took ever so long. then a quick run through of part of act I. it still needs a lot of work, but as ProdSec (first time for me) it has been so beneficial to spend time chatting with Wendy and others after some rehearsals… such a great place to learn from experience… thank you!

and now just a relaxing, reading evening before another work-week… wish me luck…

what bugged me today: the reaction that some people have to my needing to carry a work cellphone 24/7. i’m sure they don’t understand the need fully, and that while i don’t like always like it, it’s just one of those you don’t dwell on

what i learnt today: while reading “the terminal man” i learnt some more about the history of Iran and why the older iranians dislike the americans so much. it is one of my favourite visited countries in so many ways… good to get additional insight

what i am grateful for: being able to stand on lion’s head, about 300m above sea level, and still hear the waves crash on the beach below… and all so close to where we live, work, and breath… how very lucky i am

better – much better!

well, we’re not out of the woods yet, but it certainly shows you the value of relationships. we have found a partial solution to the problems of yesterday -and here i refer to the big problem- but the boss doesn’t know yet, and i still need to run it past her… i’m surprised i managed to sleep last night with all the stuff happening

anyway – something i want to do on this blog on a daily basis is to note 3 things:

1. Something that pissed me off / upset me / disappointed me – and what i did or can do about it

2. Something that i learnt

3. Something that i’m grateful for

it will help to get things into perspective i think – and make sure I keep learning. so here goes:

1. Disappointment: that of 2 people i interviewed today, neither seems suitable for the positions i desperately need to fill – i will have to keep looking

2. Learnt: that airport taxes in the middle east are less than in europe

3. Grateful: I am very grateful for the good that can come out of good relationships, and the amount of money it saved in this problem we had

and now, now i’m off to rehearsals – ciao amigos!